Daily life

Happy birthday to this really amazing girl :)

Miss the ex-Viva squad <3

Also gonna miss my 2 training co-captains after they step down :'( 

We recently had auditions and I'm feeling a lil nervous to lead a new batch without these 2 pillars of support haha

Just gonna put this picture here cos it's pretty and it makes me happy haha :)

Anyway I've been re-watching scenes from my favourite Taiwanese drama every single night this week hahaha, it is amazing! And it makes me feel so warm and fuzzy, like I go to sleep happy and wake up in the morning in a good mood~

(abrupt change of topic hahaha) I experienced some pretty intense shock and despair today when I saw my bank account balance lol... This year is just a really bleak year for my finances and my savings from my job have run out haha :((( Even though I've cut down on my shopping A LOT and even the food I eat in school, I still find myself spending tons of money buying gifts, and on dates. I never understood how people could feel so depressed over finances, until today T_T guess it's cos I've always had enough... SIGH please let me get through this...

Anyway I decided to do a photo journal for the month of April and I'm pretty excited! Haha ok I'm weird but taking and editing photos makes me really happy~ (and it's free too lol) 
Have a good month everybody~ (^._.^)ﾉ
xx.

♪ Straight to Memphis ♪

Ok I'm ready to write this post now that I've had sufficient time to wallow in my concert withdrawals for the past 1 week+ hahaha

I danced in 2 items this Cactus- Crazy in love and Memphis~ and it was freaking amazing! 

Memphis was a such a huge challenge for me because I was dancing with all the seniors and I hadn't even learnt samba or cha basics before. But it was so satisfying to finally go on stage and do all my hard work justice!! And the other day, the choreographer told me that she watched the concert video and was really proud of me cos I was on point!!!!! My heart exploded I think lol. I'm really quite happy that the memphis girls asked me to do this item despite my initial reservations, cos in the end, everything I put in was SO worth it.

Felt like Kens and Barbies hehehe

I'm so so so thankful that I had my amazing partner CH on this learning journey with me. I think we made lots of improvement together and he was just super patient whenever I was practising my other item, and he still came for every practise even after long work days so that I never had to dance on my own. And I was super impressed that he would automatically give me his jacket if I sniffed or folded my arms hahaha

And omg let's just talk about this moment..... I was practising in the corridor backstage when CH suddenly came out of the room with the biggest bouquet of flowers I've ever seen... And I was thinking omg is that for me it can't be for me!!!! And it WAS for me!!!!! I seriously couldn't stop smiling and I had to stop myself from crying if not I'd ruin my makeup lolol. I have never been so pleasantly surprised in my life, hands down one of the top 5 happiest moments hahaha AND he gave me a card too... so much effort leh! I feel so lucky~

I also feel really privileged that I got to dance in CIL, cos it was a genre that's close to ballet and I'm comfortable and happy doing~ also I really love the choreographer and all the emotions that she put in the item, the helplessness and pain and frustration.... She's also a great friend who's taught me many many things and when I showed up at training with crazy swollen eyes, she immediately hugged me and told me things would be ok :'-) She even sent me her psych research paper on mindful self-compassion to help me get through that shit hahaha

Choreographer + lead dancer + me haha

YK my partner for CIL!! Even though we only danced together for like 4 eights, I really enjoyed it~ Especially the fan kick lift part, it was super funnnn~ Also very thankful that he didn't drop my heavy butt lolol

CIL WHOOSH!!!

I don't know where all the CIL group photos are :((((( They're lost in someone else's camera haha

I love all my flowerssssss~ some people may say I'm shallow but idgaf flowers=joy+beauty hahaha

And here are the concert videos!!!

Memphis part 1

Memphis part 2

CIL

xx.

Roses are red

My vday was well spent with my beloved Viva~ we had training and then some of us went to watch Infusion cos Viva was putting up burlesque for the concert!

Lovely roses from Germs, Jovin and YK, cos what's vday without these~

xx.

CNY!

Eve:

We lou-ed yusheng at The Wine Company LOL

Day 1:

I thought the 'when are you gonna get a bf' questions were difficult, but whoa this year was even more scary lolol. My grand uncle asked me when I'm gonna get married.......... -_-

And when we were leaving, my ma ma told me that I need to work hard, so I was like yeah of course! Cos I thought she meant work hard in school. Then she said "yeah you better work hard to bring your bf to church!!" And I said "hah?!" super loud cos I wasn't expecting that and I got scared lolol :/

Day 2:

We went to uncle Ngiam's house and watched a movie in his home theater like we do every year hahaha. Uncle Ngiam is my dad's JC friend, and every year their JC clique + wives and children gather at his house~ they are #friendshipgoals hahaha

Car selfie.... a must-have for every girl on CNY lolol

Today (day 3 hehe) was a really good and fulfilling day studying and running errands~ but the past month has been rather disappointing and emotionally draining but I'm sooooo thankful for the amazing friends who've brought me through. From the toilet counselling session with Sherms lolol, to CH always giving me water and tissue when I cry, and Jiaen telling me to rest more when I'm ill. And XH and Eddie who helped me get through that night when my self-confidence took a huge blow... still feel like I need to lose 10kg, grow my hair 10 inches and go for plastic surgery.... lolol kidding! Anyway, all these people inspire me to want to be that person for someone else~ I'm looking forward to a great month ahead and a fruitful Lenten season :D

xx.

The Future of Us

One day I felt like I was wasting away in front of the computer... so I asked Bel if she wanted to do something with me and she said yes and we ended up going to The Future of Us exhibition at GBTB!

The whole exhibition was cool, but pretty unrealistic.... and so purple..... you'll see what I mean from the photos haha.

We watched 2 videos about how Singapore could improve - electronic cars and innovative bicycle parking etc. Honestly not very realistic to me...

Then we went into a third room where there were miniature models of how housing could improve. I think that room was filled with many JC students' PW ideas, like converting food waste into biogas and using the biogas to power the whole HDB.

The fluffy clouds were cute~

Also apparently people envision floating HDBs.... like what the....

In the 4th room we wrote down our dreams for Singapore and swiped them up into the pool of Singaporeans' dreams

Maybe Singapore's unquenchable thirst for progress will do us in, but I still think that it's the very thing that will ensure our survival. No matter what, I feel like I'm extremely lucky to be a Singaporean.

xx.

2015

2015 was CRAZY. It was the worst year of my life so far (20 years only lah, so it was probably not that bad in the grand scale of things...). I was on a mental and emotional roller coaster for most of the year, constantly battling with myself and feeling extremely hopeless and not in control of my state of mind. I really didn't know what to do with myself during that period.

The lyrics for one of my favourite songs go like this:

This is my prayer in desert,

when all that's within me feels dry.

This is my prayer in my hunger and need,

my God is the God who provides.

This is my prayer in the fire,

in weakness or trial or pain.

There is a faith proved of more worth than gold,

so refine me Lord through the flame.

So of course through it all I also will never forget the many many many blessings God has showered on me, and also all the lessons I've learnt, and how much I've grown. 

I'm so thankful for the people around me who have been so patient and kind to me. Charis, for not judging at all, for taking care of me when I was at my lowest and for just being a really amazing person. And every one of my friends who have stuck around and put effort into our frienships: Xinhui, Gen, Su Lynn, Rong, the turtles. 

Last year I also did many things that I never imagined I would do, like perform burlesque (omg) and quit OTT and do volunteer work and take up a leadership position in my CCA... May not seem very major, but really pushed me out of my comfort zone.

I will take my experiences with me from last year and try to be better to those around me. Here's to a great 2016~

xx.