On one hand, I'm the happiest I've ever been; I feel like I'm finally living for myself, and not to please others. I feel loved, and negativity has no hold on me. I'm surrounded by people who only bring out the best in me, and I've learnt to treat everything that happens as a blessing. It makes me want to give as much as I receive.
But at the same time, I'm so scared. I guess it's inevitable that when you've been given so much, you start to fear that one day, in the blink of an eye it could all disappear. I'm afraid that the people I hold so dear will abandon me, not necessarily because they don't like me anymore, but because life (or fate or God) has decided that I've been too blessed. Maybe I'm not used to being this happy.
After the laughter subsides, I always wonder what they see in me, what I ever did to deserve so much love.
xx.
